Thursday, May 13, 2010

You know Still I miss you a lot

You know, still sometimes I miss you a lot.

When sitting alone in balcony while it is raining outside,When taking lunch,I still feel that you are sitting infront of me ,When looking at the balcony where you used to stand alongwith your friend after lunch, ,When I sit alone calm & quiet thinking about you at window seat in our bus,When I look outside and sees that fresh and clear nature who just now took the bath,When I stand alone in our terrace,looking at that dark cloud and shining stars who tells me the story of ups and down in my life ,Whenever I get out or loose the game in cricket,When I travel in night to go to my native place,that whole night I couldn't sleep, When I read "Shala" comparing me with Author and you with "Shirodkar",When I go to my childhood memories like my "Shala",our playground,my childhood friends ,When my best friends are not with me.... when they are busy with there life... I am alone and exhausted and feel like I have completely lost focus and I go home with down feeling... I miss you!

In those moods, I feel like I will turn on the corner and you will be there in front of me to feel me! Just a glimpse will make me bounce back to happiness. Just a cute smile of yours will again make the whole world beautiful for me....Often I keep on looking at the faces of passerby.... I feel like you might be there, who knows....

The great friendship??(I dont know what should I name this relation..)...... 1 year without a single word.... sometimes I feel words are just like water bubbles, they do not have meaning...the emotion inside them makes them beautiful... but they are fugitive. They are not as strong as the silent actions...I speak a lot.... and speak with everyone I meet... I just cant stop talking even if nobody is listening to me. Why I speak a lot sometimes I dont know... is that thing is required?Then why I have not spoken with you. I dont remember you voice... how can I? But I can feel that one inside... reassuring, funny sometimes irritating.... I can feel your existence around me.... calm, inspiring and full of energy........ I dont know painting but if I would have been then I could have draw a very nice picture of you even without your physical presence,I could have just close of my eyes to feel you...why you are not here...I need you.

You made me wait, you made me to go mad with anger sometimes, you made feel happiest, you made me feel inspired, you made me feel agitated, you made me feel frustrated, you made me to loose my temper .You controlled all of my emotions and that too without a word... Even if I meet number of people I wont be able to give the place that I have given you in my heart.

I feel that there is always one realtion besides gril friend , boy friend and friend and everyone cant understand this relation.I always feels that I am bound with you with this relation.I dont know what should I called this relation but I always wanted me and you to be in this relation.I always wanted to talk to you a lot but..........

I love evening and you know why?Because this evening cares a lot for me,everyday without failure she brings your memory for me.I am little bit selfish about this because at this time I dont want anybody between you and me..Well,when I asked God that none of her thing is mine,why is this so?Then God told me that "Hey,my son you have one thing "Token of rememberance",Though this is her but its yours only",I am giving this only for you...and from that moment this "Token of rememberance "is mine only.....only mine...

Every evening ,whenever I close my eyes,I see you infront of me as always"Smiling"..People want their eye open to see the beauty of God but I am little bit different whenever I miss you I close my eyes and I can clearly see that you are sitting besides me and as always "Smiling" on my jokes..I can clearly see that we are sharing our every feeling sitting at sea shore ..I am seeing that you are asking me about my likes and dislikes..I am seeing that its raining outside and we both are taking tea in our home and you know most important thing this tea is prepared by me only for you....I see you only when I close my eyes and I just want to close my eyes foreever...so that you will be always with me.........

But everyday when this evening say "Good bye" to me at that time I cries a lot...I know that now my friend evening will leave me and cruel night will come..Whenever I open my eyes at that time I come to know that evening has left and she also took you alongwith her..Now you are not with me,I can see only one thing "Darkness" in my life..I fear from this darkness and at that time I cry a lot and complains God that ,Why you did like this ,why you take her away from me,Still I haven't finished and want to talk to her a lot...just now she came..,Wholeday when she remains with other people at that time I never complained you and why this is with me...Still I am waiting answer from him but he is not ready to answer anything...Everynight he become cruel with me as like other people........he never answers my question and when I see that God is also not doing anything for me at that time I cant control my emotion...I feel that whole world is against me including you also God...Whole night I cries a lot complaining God that I can't fight this cruel world without you and her....How can both of you can leave me alone ?but he never anwers my question...My teacher used to tell me that "The great merciful knows everying..." but everyday I get destroyed seeing God not answering me...

You know I miss you desperately whenever I heard the word "--------"?(Hope someone will fill this blank place :)

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